Stupor!

It is like trying to come out of a drunken stupor. I am trying to clear my vision. All blurry shapes and colours. Even as I try to focus, I feel a silly urge to just fall back and drown in the depths of unending sleep. The intoxication has dried my throat and I want to drink and quench my thirst. But first, I must pull out my consciousness from this haze of memories. What was I drunk on? I am trying hard to remember. Maybe remembering that will make it easy to find a cure for this hangover. I was roaming in the brightly lit fields and strolling on, I got lost in the forest. It was there that I got drunk. What did I want to escape from or celebrate? Maybe I started drinking in celebration and then used it to escape too. But then now why do I want to come out of that daze?

Every step I take, I feel that I am losing my balance. Maybe I should drink a little more and go back to the land of the spirits. The dreamlike memories make me wonder if they were real or just dreams. That immense pleasure that I felt, straying away from reality. Was it real or imagined? Should I labor towards full consciousness and let the reality sting me again or should I get drunk more and lose myself permanently in the shadows of the simulated happiness?

Strange thoughts flash across the realm of consciousness; it is like a brightly lit train, on a dark night. Where is the station? Will the train stop? What if it goes on and on forever?
I mean the thoughts. Will they stop their parade if I die? Or will the thoughts go on living with the life of their own? What if they manifest after I am dead? Will my soul or whatever is left, feel them?

As I get down on the station, I am searching for the exit. Maybe this is the wrong station.
What would have happened if I had alighted at the earlier one? Or if I had decided to get down on the next one? Where has the exit gone? Will there be another train soon? What is outside this station? So many thoughts. The psychedelic lights of the weighing machine has mesmerized me. It doesn’t give the right weight but the lights blink and beckon people to waste their one rupee coins. Why are there so many people here? Have they too chosen just blindly to get down on this station? But everyone seems to be moving somewhere with a purpose. I cannot remember buying a ticket for the train or boarding it? Yet I have this ticket, so maybe I was predestined to get down here. But why do I want to board another train? I have this ticket so I have to be on this station. Then why am I waiting for another train? Will I be allowed to board another train? Maybe I should have another ticket. But it is dark and the counters are closed. So I am stuck here.

Daily Soaps - How they have encroached on ur mind?

The other night I was at my mom's place and as usual, she was busy watching all the evening soaps. I knew that all the answers to my questions would be monosyllabic! Resigned to a fate of going along with the flow, I too began watching the soap along with her. It was the usual family melodrama, with the grandma competing with the grand daughter in looking young, with the men all having the same dumb-macho looks and the weird relationships that they portrayed. After a while, instead of watching the TV, I was busy observing my mom. I began asking her questions about the various characters and she answered them in detail. She had an opinion on the behavior of every character and their present situation. I wondered if my mom's increased dramatic reactions to some mundane situations were due to her constant and vigilant watching of these soaps?
All around me, at my work place, at the food market, at family parties- the presence of the ghost of these soaps are becoming more and more apparent. I really don't know when my friends are discussing real life problems or reel life problems. I tried watching but could sit only through the first commercial break!

On Friendship

Friends!! Those few people who sometimes play a greater part in our lives than our nearest family members. I have been blessed with quite a few friends, both male and female. Some of them have helped me through those phases in my life where even my own have deserted me.
They have helped me smile when sorrow threatened to drown me.
The school friends, the college friends, the work-place friends... Those golden carefree days of college... who doesn't get nostalgic about them? One of my long-standing, most helpful friend is the kind who doesn't let me feel the absence of enemies!! He criticizes me, taunts me, makes fun of me, but he is the one who has stood the test of last 10 years... always there to pick me up when I really really needed picking up. God bless him!!
The greatest loss I have felt was last year, when one of my best work-place friends left to pursue a golden career opportunity.
And how can any girl survive without the bitching and criticisms of girlfriends....
The latest in fashion and gossip.....
Friends, the creature God designed when he thought of helping mankind! May He bless them always.

First of the Daily Doses..

Finally writing! Being a little bit more on the lazy side, I kept on putting off writing a blog. But all the gentle persuasions of a friend-angel has finally paid off. I am going to write my day-to-day living.
Yes, day to day, because all of us are so involved with making our futures bright that we forget to notice the beautiful present.
Like today, while leaving for work, all I was thinking of what things I have to finish before lunch.
And right where I board my transportation to work, was a small puddle. There were about 7-8 sparrows washing themselves and generally making a graet racket. The best thing they were so oblivious to the humans and they dispersed only when a dog decided to have a drink there.
This sight filled me with a kind of careless joy. And I realised that worrying about what is going to happen even a few hours later is foolish.
Quite a part of the day still remains to be lived, moment to moment.